With the arrival of a baby, many parents struggle with sleep challenges. According to a study published in the National Library of Medicine, it is very common for parents, in particular mothers, to experience fragmented and poor quality sleep during the first few years of a child’s life. Frequent night awakenings are very common during infancy and early childhood, and sleep quality for parents hinges on the sleep quality of the child.
To compound matters, consistently interrupted sleep may contribute to the development of insomnia. My husband and I are currently solid testaments to that.
Dangers of Poor Quality Sleep
Lack of quality sleep causes reduced cognitive capacity, and have been linked to diseases such as dementia and Alzheimer’s. As this article indicates, a kind of plaque forms whenever we are awake in our brains. This plaque may only be removed when we are sleeping. In addition, the brain trims dead cells and neurons while consolidating our memories. All this housekeeping is critical in maintaining our brain health, just as we need to shower and brush our teeth to maintain our physical health everyday.
Take my husband for example. I have known him since his youth and he has always been a relatively calm, happy-go-lucky guy. But with the disruptions to our sleep since the arrival of Bee, it has taken a toil on him. He has become a lot more emotional, unexpectedly moody at times, and often seemed lost and troubled by small things that he used to not be bothered by. Work is stressful of course, but his work nature had not changed in the last 10 years- any problems faced were issues he had encountered and resolved many times over before.
And like me now, he sometimes has trouble falling back or to sleep, as he seems to have become anxious in anticipating Bee’s next midnight wail!
So what is one to do, if one is facing sleep challenges? Especially so, if you are a parent of a young child?
I am not a medical expert, but by sharing my experiences here, I hope to reassure anyone facing a similar challenge here; that it is a manageable problem, as long as we work on it.
Here are some of my personal tips on managing insomnia:
1. Identify Triggers
For some people, the triggers are obvious, such as a stressful day at work, or anticipation of something stressful, or even exciting, in the next day. The body is really quite bad at differentiating between the two. Ever felt unable to go to bed at the prospect of taking the plane to your much-awaited vacation in a few hours? Yep, that’s me!
Other triggers are more related to seemingly small but significant habits such as screen time, heavy dinners or suppers before sleep, or trying to cram last minute work, or studying before bed. #selfprofessedoffender
Or, it could simply because you have trouble going back to sleep once you woke up and tended to your baby’s mid-night feed. Some of us are able to successfully train our child to sleep through the night, but many others like me, simply have a child who is physically smaller-in-frame, and therefore is just not able to drink/eat enough to help them sleep through 8-12 hours.
Some triggers may be avoided more easily, for example, cutting down of heavy meals before bed. But there will be triggers that are pretty much unavoidable, such as a stressful day at work, or your child’s night feed. For successful bedtime management, you will need to identify and be ready for these triggers, and employ some of the following tips to help counter the body’s state of high alert:
2. Eat a good bedtime supplement, 1-2hours before bed.
Some supplements such as the taeguk ginseng and melatonin are known to be really helpful to promote sleep. For some people, a glass of warm milk or chamomile tea works as well. Personally I find taeguk ginseng the most effective for balancing my hormones and aligning my natural circadian rhythm, but proceed with caution as some people find it too stimulating and end up being more alert instead.
Don’t use alcohol though or sleeping pills though. Even if it does help you fall asleep, it is not the kind of sleep you need for your brain. With alcohol, not only dehydrate your body as you sleep (think accelerated Aging!), you are also very likely to feel as tired as if you had not slept at all. Not a good deal.
A good bedtime supplement should help you feel sleepy and fall asleep much faster than without, while having you wake up feeling refreshed the next morning. And if you are a parent dealing with mid-night feeds, it should help you get back to sleep quickly once your little one is fed, reducing the impact of interrupted sleep the next day.
3. Hard stop whatever that keeps you up at night 30 minutes before bed.
Be it work, social activities, games, or even plain old rumination, schedule a hard stop of whatever you know will deter you from sleep, for at least 30 minutes before your targetted bed time. Like anything important in life, you have to make sleep a priority, as if your life depends on it (and it does, actually!)
Get comfy in your bed, and try reading a book, a newspaper, even a comic book. And if you are a parent, read to your kid! Paper does not emit blue light like screens do, that confuses our body into thinking that it is still day time.
Not a reader? Try crafting, like knitting, crocheting, or even Lego. Doodling on blank paper, even pencil coloring works too. Your eyes will tire out very quickly and send the much needed snooze button to your brain.
4. Turn on the air-con to 22 degrees celsius.
Yes, not a Green initiative but Singapore’s hot and humid climate can really impede our efforts to Dreamland. But the rapid difference in temperature really helps make the body sleepy. 22 degrees is the magic temperature.
No aircon? Try a really warm shower.
This really works for my baby and my husband, but not so much for me, as showers tend to wake me up instead. I do better with the air-conditioning technique instead! But try it once and if it works, it works.
5. Have a structured bedtime routine for your child.
Young children thrive on routine and the sooner you start the better it is for you, your spouse and for your child.
Aim to do more or less the same things in the hours leading to your kid’s bedtime, around the same time. My daughter’s evening routine start at 5:30pm, once picked up from preschool. She would then have dinner, play with some toys, shower, read and then go to bed between 8:30pm to 9pm. I find that she sleeps better and apparently has better mood at school the next day whenever we keep to this same schedule.
On weekends, it is also highly recommended to keep to the same meal and nap times as practiced in preschool, which helps with maintaining/ regulating the child’s sleep and rest rhythms.
6. Invest in your bed
This doesn’t mean that you buy the most expensive bed out there. But it does mean that you should spend some time and effort in finding a good bed that you’d feel comfortable sleeping in, one that helps you enter lala land quickly and helps you feel fresh the next morning. There is a reason why many people don’t sleep well in hotels – it could be the most premium brand in the market but if it doesn’t feel comfortable to you, then it doesn’t.
7. Skip the coffee and tea past 3PM.
As we grow older, our ability to break down caffeine gets weaker. Up until in my early thirties, coffee does not have much of an effect on me. I could drink a few cups and fall asleep anyhow should I want to. But not now in my forties. Even a cup of black tea may trigger my insomnia problems.
If you find yourself having trouble sleeping, check your beverages post 3PM. Some people, like my mom, cannot even have hot chocolate or green tea, which also contains caffeine. Opt for milks or flower tea instead.
8. Go for walks, get some sunlight.
This is probably not only great for your sleep, but also for you immune system, weight management and mood. Making sure we are exposed to sunlight for at least 15-30minutes a day helps our skin produce enough vitamin D to keep bones healthy. It also helps our body regulate our circadian rhythm, and learn that it should be active in the day time, but rest for the night.
Conclusion
With the demands and distractions of modern life, insomnia becomes a symptom of our desperate need to take a rest. I hope that you find my tips helpful! If you have any feedback, feel free to share them down in the comment section below. Til the next post!
